Monday, October 1, 2012

Kindergartners Slay Me

Dear Friends,

   Well, I have certainly been through a lot of monster sized changes since the last you heard from me.  Granted, everyone probably already knows considering the only people that read this are my Facebook friends where I regularly update you all on my life that I seem to find noteworthy for everyone else to read about. 

   1)  I am a full-blown, mediocre Kindergarten teacher.  Kidding about the mediocre part-- though sometimes it feels that way.  I had forgotten how hilarious five year olds are.  There is never a dull day nor is there ever an easy day.  Some days all day long all I hear is "Miss Overmyer!  Miss Overmyer!! MISS OVERMYER!!!!"  How I respond, "Yes, dear, what is that you need??"  What I'm thinking, "WHAT!  FOR CRIPES SAKE, WHAT IS IT THAT IS SO IMPORTANT YOU HAVE TO REPEAT MY NAME FIVE HUNDRED TIMES WITH AN INCREASING DECIBEL!!!!!"  What they usually respond with, "Jerry (yes, Jerry, I dislike the standard Billy as a name for a random child, I've never met a child named Billy--Jerrys are just as uncommon) sticked his tongue out at me and told me he's not my friend (the ULTIMATE diss for a kid)," OR "I have to pee!"  There are some days that I'd kick a bunny if it let out a squeak that sounded remotely like my name...do rabbits make noises?  At the end of the day, I'm glad to no longer be Miss Overmyer....sometimes.  Other days, I marvel at the fact that I have the incredible pleasure of teaching.  Some days are just so fantastic, I literally can't help but grin like an idiot--example: the day I discovered one of my students could read and another could count to 100 and identify every number.  It might sound like a standard feat, but for this age it's comparable to climbing Mt. Everest.

 I had had one exceptional day a couple of weeks ago, where everything in my personal and professional life was going tremendously and I was in such a great mood, that I couldn't help but sing with full expression in my car on the way home.  Music of choice: Boys II Men.  Song of choice:  I'll Make Love to You--NOT RELATED TO ANYTHING, just happens to be 1 of 3 songs I know on that CD.  I caught myself making the intense arm movements like I was pulling and shoving the air waves around as I sang as loudly as I could, killing the deep/low male speaking voice parts (ex: Baby, I'm sorry, please forgive me for all the wrong I've done) and then noticed that I was in full blown traffic and must have looked like a nutjob as I attempted to recreate the music video in the driver's seat of my car.  Singing to myself.  And then I just started crying laughing at myself as I imagined what I looked like from another's perspective--granted the laughter was partly because I've always thought that one of my friend's boyfriends is the long lost member of Boys II Men and  envisioned him in the music video performing as well.  Yes, that's how great a good day of teaching makes me feel.  But then the bad days, are bad but not because of the students.  They are because I get frustrated that I can't successfully get my students to understand something that is WAY beyond their level of thinking but they are expected to know how to do, and well.  Speaking of this, I must break and rant a minute.

Parents-- I have come to the conclusion that you need to do some reconfiguring with your genetics and produce super babies that emerge from the womb reading with expression and poise in the nursery at the hospital to all of his peers, because as the laws of what children need to know coming INTO Kindergarten as well as when they leave continue to change, that's really the only possible way to accomplish what they expect.  It is amusing in the way that one would laugh at the idea of the government telling a farmer his corn stalks need to start producing watermelons.  People forget that these kids are FIVE.  Five whole years they've been on this earth and they are expected to do things that we didn't learn until second grade-- when they finish Kindergarten.  They tell us to focus on the individual child yet they are all expected to perform on the exact same level with NO exceptions.  Who can do that? Except for maybe Bob Ross?  They are five.  I have their full attention for approximately six minutes at a time.  If someone farts or says underwear, they're in outer space for the next twenty.  But they are expected to write paragraphs-- yes that is plural-- and discriminate between formative and narrative texts when they write--and rated on a rubric that at the highest label them as being "proficient" as a writer.   These kids are just learning to write their names and we are asking them to start writing research papers and be proficient in any subject beyond the basics?  Leave the education laws to those who are actually actively involved in the classroom and schools on a DAILY basis.  Kindergarten isn't playing games, eating warm cookies and milk at snack time and no, they don't take naps.  They get 20 minutes of recess a day.  That's it.  Some days they may fall asleep due to exhaustion.  I don't always wake them up. 

All that aside, teaching isn't a job.  It's a dedication to empowering the lives of others. Now that I finally have my own classroom, I find myself wanting to do things better for those students because I know how much they deserve it.  They inspire me to be a better teacher every day.  It's amazing to work in a profession in which it's no longer about the pay check and it becomes about the work you're doing-- and being passionate about it.  My students have taught me more about life in these few short weeks than I have figured out in my 26.7.  They are also hilarious.  Here are some memorable moments:

A) Day One, Circle Time, Introductions:  One of my students stands up, pulls his shirt over his head so only his face remains, puts arms in a 90 degree angled fashion and says, "I am Cornholio and I need TP for my bunghole."  True story.  A five year old quoted Beavis & Butthead.  At circle time. 

B)  One of my students, who is very well intentioned and actually pretty sweet, had regularly been getting in trouble for being "unfriendly" to others and had told another student, "If you be friends with her, I'm going to punch you in the face."  We had a little chat about what it means to threaten people.  She swears it's not her fault she said it.  The next day she frolics in and says to me, "Miss Overmyer!  I'm not going to tell anyone I want to punch them in the face today!"  I expressed my deep gratitude.  She had a couple of more rough days and finally one day, in the morning, she came to me and said, "Miss Overmyer, you look very beautiful today.  My mom told me to say that, she said you'd like it."   It turns out I'm as big of a sucker for empty compliments as I am for the genuine.

C)  One morning, I was assessing students' knowledge in English Language Arts.  I have one child who is so hilarious that I make time to have a conversation with him every day because of how much he makes me smile and I appreciate the way his brain works.  I was asking him letters of the alphabet when he blurted out, "MISS OVERMYER DO YOU WATCH STAR WARS?"  "No, dear, I do not."  He went on to tell me all about light sabres and R2D2.

D)  I was having trouble with a student not following directions and having trouble keeping his hands to himself.  I finally had a chat with him about why he behaves this way, and here it is verbatim:

Me:  Do you like getting in trouble?
Boy:  No.
Me:  Do you act like this for your parents?
Boy: No.
Me:  Why not?
Boy:  Because they're nice.
Me:  And I'm not nice?
Boy:  Well you're not so nice, but you're kinda nice.

I have found myself trying to make this kid like me ever since. 

E)  I sometimes like to join in on the fun at recess.  It always surprises the kids and they go INSANE.  One girl turned to me and said, "Miss Overmyer!  You can't come up here-- you're too chubby."  "I'm too what?"  Quickly realizing I took slight offense she restated, "You're too tall!"  Yes, hint taken. 

I must also mention that in Kindergarten, when there isn't a bathroom in the room, going to the bathroom becomes a novelty--it also becomes contagious.  You wouldn't believe the outbreak of suddenly maxed out bladders that occur in my room when ONE kid asks to go.  I've never gone more than 10 minutes without someone asking me if they can go to the bathroom.  What they actually do when they are down there, I shall never know.  I'm almost sure it is not used for its intended purpose.  Oh, Kindergartners also like to lick things?  Like pants and tables.

More hilarities to come later.

2)  I bought a house!  I can finally be an official adult and move out of my parents' guest room and start paying bills.  It's adorable.  I gain possession Thanksgiving weekend.  I'd post a picture, but someone will probably come and murder me or tell their friends to rob my house of my Hand me Down furniture and refrigerator magnets. 

When I had first started house hunting, I had this insane vision of a brand spanking new house out Southwest, with white trim, granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances and imagined myself entertaining royalty in my living room...until I saw my paycheck with all deductions taken out.  Yikes.  I can afford to entertain... vagrants?  Kidding, it's a sweet little abode built in the 1950's with lots of character.  I've been doing nothing but "pinning" on Pinterest these last few days.  I have tens of tens of great ideas of things to do to my house, like refurbishing old furniture-- but we all know I will probably do one of those ideas, and only complete half of it because it was taking too long and I became bored.  And it will sit in my garage...until I move again in five years, where I will rediscover it, spend a day trying to finish it again and then ultimately just end up leaving it behind and hope the new homeowners take care of its disposal for me.  But, it's the thought that counts right?  I'm curious to find out if having my OWN home will encourage me to be neater. 

Probably not.  Call me before you stop by so I can shove things into closets and under the bed. 


I guess I didn't have as many new and awesome changes as I had initially thought. Regardless, I love being able to tell people I'm a Kindergarten teacher when they ask about my profession.  I no longer have to tell them I'm almost graduated or a substitute (not that subbing isn't a good job--it might be the hardest, I just like the ownership).  Hooray!

I wish for everyone to have careers and lives they love.

Sunshine Wishes,
Miss Overmyer



Thursday, July 26, 2012

Florida or Bust

  Well Ladies and Gents, it was a total bust.  A fun bust, but a bust none the less.  I am out of the monetary affects required to stay afloat in this great city. 

   As many of you know, I moved to Tampa in June with the intentions of becoming the best educator folks this side of the Ohio River have ever seen.  It didn't work out quite as planned.  I had 12 interviews and sent out over 70 resumes to area schools without being presented with a single opportunity of employment. The nerve. I was unable to obtain part-time jobs for which I was clearly over qualified for but willing to do.  I don't know what the Hoosier State ever did to The Sunshine State, but they clearly took major offense.  After my 12th interview, I had sent the principal I interviewed with an eloquently written e-mail thanking him for the opportunity to apply and to hopefully consider me for future employment.  It is my belief he took pity on me when he divulged what I'm about to tell you because the conversation began with, "We don't normally call people we haven't selected for a position after an interview, but..."  My immediate thoughts were "Okay, well this slashes that last glimmer of hope circling around the notion that I may have gotten the position, but go on" and what he told me next was potentially crushing news but I was too caught up in accepting anything he told me as positive to notice it was in fact not positive news at all.  In a carefully worded summary, I was basically told that due to my lack of experience with the Florida school systems it was unlikely I would be hired over a candidate that has interred in their schools but to "research their models because they are quite different".  Generally speaking, I did not attend a Florida college therefore I wasn't going to be hired.  Ever.  I researched the models...pretty standard stuff my good sir.  While I appreciate him calling me because he certainly didn't have to and also for being so nice about my perpetual rejections, my tower of optimism began to crumble.  I've spent the last two solid weeks searching for jobs and sending resumes once more in hopes to keep hanging on but my efforts were fruitless.

  It's been a great summer-- I have had the privilege of spending it in Florida.  How would it not be great?  In case you are all dying to know exactly what it is that I did day in and day out, you are about to be amazed because I shall fill you in.

1) Woke up generally around 11 am everyday.
2)  Ate breakfast in bed-- don't worry, it was an air mattress.  One may say it is the equivalent to having plastic sheets on your mattress.
3)  Became an avid viewer of the following television shows that came in through my trusty antenna because I'm too poor to contribute to cable and Internet:
   a)  E! True Hollywood Story.  Robert Downey Jr. sure had a rough time of it.
   b)  Cold Case Files.   Case closed...see what I did there?
   c)  Eye for an Eye with Judge Extreme Akim or the Steve Wilko show.  It was when these programs came on that I suddenly had the motivation to get up, put on my classy pants and be semi-productive i.e. Go steal free Internet somewhere in order to spend the next 5+ hours job hunting.  I'm pretty sure the library employees contemplated whether or not I was a homeless person with a laptop seeking relief from the sweltering humidity.
4)  Put away my bed.  Due to laziness, I just picked up my mattress (that makes me sound awesome) and leaned it up against the wall in the hallway, which created a decorative padded wall piece.  It really just tied the room together.  Next, I would shower as I felt it was the one thing I could contribute to society at that point.  **Update** My $109.98 air mattress now has an invisible, giant leak somewhere.  Every few hours I wake up in a cocoon of thick plastic and have to reinflate.  I can't wait for a real bed.
5)  Ate my weight in seafood on a regular basis for dinner.  Sometimes on the beach.
   a) I enjoyed it. Immensely.  My pants beg to differ.
   b) Sometimes I cooked my own dinner-- which led to the, hold on let me count, 11 hot oil burns the left side of my body is wearing with pride.  I knew that was too much olive oil. 
6)  Took in everything Florida had to offer to me that day.  Rented at least two Redbox movies.  I've watched some spectacularly poorly written/directed movies these last few weeks.
7)  Came home. Removed padded wall that doubled as my bed and felt lucky when I would catch and episode of Friends, Seinfeld, or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
8)   Slept. 

  And that sums up my daily life here.  It was a good ride Tampa. A big thanks go out to my dear friend Amanda for letting me bunk up and try to start a new life in Florida.  Even though it didn't work out, it was well worth effort.  I met some cool people and witnessed some amazing things.

   In conclusion, I shall be retreating home this weekend.  I'm really disappointed that I couldn't make it work.  But nevertheless, back to the Fort I go.  I now have my sights set on Indianapolis and have become proficient in the area of moving cities.  Perhaps a bit wiser as well.  I will do whatever it takes to start my life anew once more.  Have already submitted resumes like crazy.  Ideally teaching or find someone willing to hire me as a writer and pay me accordingly--which would be extraordinarily amazing.  See some of you soon! 

P.S.  Florida, I will miss you.  Thanks for the affair.

Kind Regards,

Heather

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Mushy Pondering

Hello my loyal readers, or first-time readers...or those of you who clicked on this link by accident.

It's been months since my last confession.  And I'm finally a college graduate.  Not that that is exactly news, or ground-breaking data that anybody doesn't know.  I just enjoy being able to say it without having to half-ass the truth or tell someone I'm kind of almost graduated.

After eight weeks of unemployment, I put on my big girl pants and went back to work.  Unemployment was very unpleasant after week one.  I feel for those of you who have experienced it--or are experiencing it-- for long periods of time.  However...the sympathy meals and drinks weren't so bad.  (I'll repay you all someday...after my gargantuan mountain of student loan debt stops intimidating me...)  I have been substitute teaching.  What a trip.  Is there some form of kid-safe crack out there that these kids are ingesting before they come to school in the morning that I am unaware of?  I love working with kids, don't misunderstand me, but Holy Toledo kids are insane.  I always forget how intense their energy is---they somehow manage to burgle all of mine the minute they walk in the door.  That should be a super hero power.  Energy siphon. 

 Getting started in life is hard. I can't wait for that elusive job with benefits people keep insisting I'll get and desperately need. I have a cell phone that ceases to have any of these functioning abilities: the letter "I" (Do you have any idea how many words use the letter i ?!? A bazillion.), the ability to scroll--which disables basically everything on my phone-- and it no longer has the ability to stay on by itself. My phone is on life support--essentially brain dead. I don't have Internet. I don't have cable. I essentially have nothing to do when I get off work. Although, I must say PBS is increasingly becoming my favorite channel. Thanks for the antenna Mom. April 27th can't come soon enough. I'd go get a new one, but due to the altercation my cell phone had with the toilet a few months back... I'm not sure they'd replace it. Ahh the poor life.

I have started realizing a few things though.  Since I no longer have school work to procrastinate over, I have an enormous amount of free time.  It's wonderful.  And because I'm perpetually single, I have found myself wanting to do things for others.  Just because.  I really like it.  Especially cooking, and now successfully baking, for other people.  I am so going to be that old lady that immediately offers food and beverage to anyone who steps through the door and brings it for you even when you repeatedly decline my offer.  It is curiously fun to bring simple pleasures to others. I'm not claiming to be a saint or even a wonderful human being-- but I'm enjoying becoming one, or attempting to anyway.  Maybe not the saint part-- for reasons we won't get into... and neither will any of you.  Or I'll shank you.   Look, I'm growing as a human being!  My life has been all about me up until recently.  No wonder I've been so bored. 

I have to make mention of something that has opened my world of knowledge of education and also in life.  Inner city schools face so many more challenges than I was previously aware of.  You hear about schools struggling to flourish in an impoverished society but you really never think twice about what an effect demography has on a school and its students.  These kids have faced more adversity in their short lives than I will probably ever experience during the entirety of mine.  I've been struggling lately with the type of teaching position I hope to get in the near future--- inner city school vs. wealthier school systems.  Some of my days are so unbelievably trying that I wonder if I'm in the right profession.  But, then, there are those break through days where you really get through to these kids and even if it is just for a moment, you have earned this small token of trust.  A principal once told me that so many of the kids in these schools don't care about school or their teachers because so many of their teachers become so discouraged with the challenge of teaching in the face of adversity that they quit, sometimes mid-year--the school has an incredible turnover rate for both teachers and students.  These kids can't always count on stability at home or their parents being there for them, surely, school should be the one safe place where they can feel like someone isn't going to give up on them.  I can't imagine what that must feel like as a child--to be failed time and time again by those who you are told to trust and respect.  I would have trouble respecting and trusting someone I knew wouldn't hang around to see what happens to me either.  I think some days, life will be so much easier for me to teach in the better school systems.  But, then I have days where I think about everything I've seen in the short time I've worked in inner city schools and maybe I should be finding a home in a school where I am truly needed to be that one source of stability and trust for a child.  Somewhere where I can make the greatest difference in the life of a child who will teach me more about life than I could have learned on my own. I think I want to be that person. If I could give one piece of advice to humanity thus far, it would be this:  Love your children.  Show them how to love and be compassionate.  Encourage curiosity and adventure.  Teach them to be respectful and considerate of others.  Teach them to be exactly who they are and to never apologize for it.  Never stop teaching them how to live.

Well, there's a little bit of my heart today.  That's enough--stop looking, she's shy. 

Have an excellent day everyone and enjoy this budding spring weather!

Much love.